The Wonders of Duct Tape

A Story for All Ages by Aaron McEmrys

Once upon a time there was a small village on an island far out in the great blue sea. The people had been living there for generations beyond count, living simply: catching their fish and farming their little farms, which extended right to the very edges of the sharp cliffs that overlooked the ocean below.

Because they lived so far away from the mainland, the people of the island had to take care of themselves. Most of their tools and houses had been around for a very long time, and whenever anything broke, they would call the Tinker, an old man who could fix almost anything, just as the people in his family always had.

One day, an unfamiliar sailboat pulled into their little harbor. The man who owned the ship came ashore with boxes and crates full of all kinds of wonderful things. He set up a tent on the beach and opened shop with a big banner overhead that read, “Buy More, Pay Less.”

And it was true, all the things he sold, the shovels, axes, plows, cooking pots and radios were all super cheap and the people of the island went a little crazy, and bought almost everything, whether they needed it or not, because it seemed like such a good deal.

They soon began to realize, however, why all that stuff was so cheap – because it was terrible! Everything they bought broke almost the first time they tried to use it, and soon there was a long line of very angry islanders on the beach clamoring for their money back.

“Relax, my friends, relax. Things break, that’s the way of life – but here, here is the answer to all your problems…” the man said as he lifted a roll of sticky shiny grey stuff over his head like a holy relic. It was…..duct tape!

The man from the sailboat showed the villagers how duct tape could “fix” almost anything. He showed them how, with enough duct tape, you could close up holes in the ceiling, fix a broken bicycle frame, a fishing rod, a broken spoon and even the old red tractor whose parts had become so rusty that they kept falling off at inopportune times before packing up his tent and sailing away with his pockets full of money.

The people were amazed. They bought every single roll of duct tape and they all went around the village wrapping it around everything that was broken or looked like it might break, holding it reverently above their heads like so many hundreds of sacred treasures.

Nobody came to the Tinker anymore when they needed something mended. Instead they just slapped some more duct tape on it. Meanwhile the Tinker kept his shop as neat and tidy as ever, and his family was the only family on the whole island who didn’t own any of the magic tape.

In the evenings the Tinker sat out on his porch with his little girls on his lap, reading brightly colored brochures and watching as his village became a little more shiny and a little more grey every day, as one thing after another broke down, as things do without proper care and maintenance.

“What on earth are you reading, Mr. Tinker?” exclaimed his wife.

“Oh just some travel brochures. I am trying to decide where we should go on our vacation? What do you think – London, Paris..I hear Greece is very nice.”

“Are you crazy?! You haven’t had any work for weeks now! We are almost out of food.”

“Just wait my dear, just wait” he replied calmly. “What do you think about Tokyo?”

Then, just as the sun began to set, a terrible storm rose up and slashed down upon the island with endless sheets of rain and howling winds. The storm lasted for three long days and three long nights.

And what do you suppose the villagers saw when they finally came out and looked around their town?

Almost everything they owned had collapsed into a sticky, gross and shapeless heap of grey gook. The rain water had dissolved the sticky glue on the back of the tape - and everything the islanders had “fixed” with their hundreds of rolls of duct tape: every leaky roof, every broken plow and fishing pole – all of these things had fallen apart once more; they had never really been fixed at all, only held together by tape.

Mr. Tinker, standing on his porch, smiled a little smile and nodded his head as if to say, “Let that be a lesson to you.”

He put on his apron and turned the sign on his door to read, “Open for Business.” In less than half-an-hour there was an enormous line of customers outside his shop clamoring for him to fix all their broken sticky things.

“What do you think, kids – Disney World looks like a lot of fun – and perhaps”, he said, eyeing the growing line of customers, “we can do Disney World AND Paris. I hear Paris is lovely in the springtime.”